yo geno, this was obviously something different from you. it was kinda odd tbh. it was cool you kinda put it all out there but for some reason to me it just didn't seem like you, it kinda felt like you were trying to be all poetic and feelers and it felt forced as shit and foreign to me.. idunno, i also havent been around at all for a while but this really just seemed like you forcing something. didn't seem natural to me.
rhymes/schemes/vocab were just basic and you didn't really say anything significant. i'm sure your actual feelings on this were very real but i just think you struggled to put it into verse. my 2 cents homie
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My syllable count approximately a billion, bounce. You cannot compete.
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