[dead man]

i really liked the rhythm you gave this. it was fast paced and never lost a beat.

your description of the mountain pass was also excellent. the pine trees and soft earth. i felt it. the portland comparison really brought it home as well, i could see myself floating their river again. very cool.

i don't know if i am older and tired or what, but it takes a lot for me to throw myself into a "topical" verse like this one most days. it just reads like too much like a linear bit of fairytale and at this exact moment it doesn't excite me. i scanned the forum for a verse from your personal river. some kind of internal release - a mind activation if you will.

your writing is very technically sound - it's your subject matter most times that i have trouble slugging through based on the 3rd person topicality of it. many are fans, and excellent at it, but i'm not one of them either capacity right at the time.

this was amusing and well written. like many of your submissions. i am a fan of your execution and creativity.

thank you