Netcees - View Single Post - Gamble 1-2 vs Concrete 1-0

Jabari Black · 03-23-2018, 10:08 PM

Crete took this one.

Gamble’s opener was pretty good. His best or second best bar of the verse in my opion. The next bar was a swing and a miss to me. You then ended with 3 straight “Con” flips. I would have given you points for them if they landed but they didn’t imo. I didn’t like the condom line, the converse line was good, but then the closer was pretty weak.

Concrete came out with a good opener. I liked it. I didn’t follow the second bar. Partly because I’m new, but I personally think you should set up personals in a way that any reader can get it like with the first bar. That’s just my take though.

Anyways, he Russian roulette was a pretty good line. The next line has potential but the execution was off. The punch line didn’t really have anything to do with the rest of the bar. Then the closer was cool.

Like I said, concrete took this one. Your word play and personal is what set you apart in this one.

03-23-2018, 10:08 PM	#8
Jabari Black Sun Tzu Join Date: Mar 2018 Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 550 Battle Record: 13-6 Champed - Battle Arena League - 1-2 Punch League - Netcees Battle League - Netcees SOL Rep Power: 12764499	Crete took this one. Gamble’s opener was pretty good. His best or second best bar of the verse in my opion. The next bar was a swing and a miss to me. You then ended with 3 straight “Con” flips. I would have given you points for them if they landed but they didn’t imo. I didn’t like the condom line, the converse line was good, but then the closer was pretty weak. Concrete came out with a good opener. I liked it. I didn’t follow the second bar. Partly because I’m new, but I personally think you should set up personals in a way that any reader can get it like with the first bar. That’s just my take though. Anyways, he Russian roulette was a pretty good line. The next line has potential but the execution was off. The punch line didn’t really have anything to do with the rest of the bar. Then the closer was cool. Like I said, concrete took this one. Your word play and personal is what set you apart in this one. Last edited by Jabari Black; 03-24-2018 at 09:45 AM.