ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS IN THE FOLLOWING PUBLICATION--EVEN THOSE BASED ON REAL PEOPLE--ARE ENTIRELY FICTIONAL. ALL NETCEE MEMBER POSTS ARE IMPERSONATED.....POORLY. THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM CONTAINS COARSE LANGUAGE AND DUE TO ITS CONTENT IT SHOULD NOT BE VIEWED BY ANYONE.
now....shall we?
DARRYL NIGPEN TOOK A MONSTER PULL OFF AN OLD BURNT OUT LIGHTBULB CONTAINING A FAIRLY REASONABLE PORTION OF METH AS HE BROWSED NETCEES FOR THE 11TH STRAIGHT HOUR BOARDING PURELY ON BI POLAR MANIA AND SELF INDUCED HYSTERIA AND SOON TO BE METH FUELED RAGE AND PARANOIA....ENTER ANDRE GAYMANTIAGO INNOCENTLY ENOUGH POSTING FOR HIS 18TH HOUR STRAIGHT ...ON A HIGH FROM RECENT SPIKES IN DISC ACTIVITY DECIDES THAT PROVOKING EL MUFFIN FURTHER WILL OBV PROVIDE ADDITIONAL LULZ...UNBEKNWONST TO HIMSELF OF NIGPENS PREVIOUS ACTIVITIES HE PROCEEDS HEAD ON REVEALING MUFFINS GOVT NAME.....................................WHAT ENSUES NO1 COULD PREDICT
EL MUFFIN CONTACTS THE 5 FAMILIES OF OKLAHOMA PUTTING A HIT ON GLOSS THE BOSS HEAD OF THE LONELY OVERWEIGHT BALD OSHA MAN MARRYING FAMILY OF (LOCATION WITHHELD DUE TO PROTECTIONARY MEASURES SET IN PLACE BY THE NETCEES WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM). 200 HUNDRED DOLLARS TO THE BRITISH MERCENARY LARS TO LOCATE THE ADDRESS OF GLOSSY ....THE OPEN HIT WAS TASKED TO LARS BUT IT WAS AN OPEN CONTRACT FOR ANY AND ALL MEMBERS WILLING TO FULLFILL THE HIT. GLOSS PLEADS WITH ELL MUFFIN....AT FIRST WITH MEAGER THREATS OF OSHA BASED GOVERNM,ENT TRACKING DATABASES.... ALTHOUGH CONFUSINGLY COUNTER INTUITIVE BEING THAT MUFFIN WAS ACTIVELY SEEKING GLOSS......NIGPEN IS A MAJOR PLAYER IN THE OKLAHOMA WEED DISTRIBUTION RINK AND KNOWN FOR HIS INSANE ABDOMINAL DEVELOPMENT AS WELL AS PRISTINE CARE FOR THE 96 LEXUS THAT HE PURCHASED FROM PUSHING DIME SACKS OF HAY TO THE LOCALS WITH THE REPUTATION OF BEING THE CLOSEST THING TO AN ACTUAL BLACK PERSON THE COUNTY HAD EVER COME IN CONTACT WITH OUTSIDE OF TELEVISION. MANTIAGO IS MORE REPUTABLY KNOWN FOR HIS ENTIRELY MADE UP ABILITIES IN HAND TO HAND COMBAT...DELUSIONAL NATURE OF KNOWLEDGE IN EVERYTHING...OSHA HARD HAT AND SLOVEN PHYSIQUE COUPLED WITH EXPONENTIAL HAIRLOSS........BUT THE REAL BOSS OF THE GLOSS FAMILY IS MRS GLOSS. ITS WIDELY KNOWN SHE WEARS THE 501 LEVIS IN THAT FAMILY. HAVING RELEASED NIGPENS FULL NAME TO THE MASSIVE DATABASE OF USERS ON THE NETCEES COMMUNITY ...A SOCIAL MEDIA OUTLET WIDELY ACCESSIBLE TO FEDERAL AND LOCAL AUTHORITY AGENTS NIGPEN WAS RIGHTFULLY ENRAGED AND ISSUED THE HIT IMMEDIATELY. MANTIAGO HAS SINCE FLED THE COUNTRY AND WENT INTO HIDING AFTER ENSUING PRESSURE FROM NIGPENS MANIC THREATS AND FEAR FOR HIS CHILDRENS WELL BEING. GLOSS WAS PREVIOUSLY INTERVIEWED IN SAYING WHAT A JOKE IT WAS THAT EL MUFFIN WAS CLAIMING MAFIOSO STATUS ...BUT HAVING BEEN ON THE RECIEVING END OFF A MUFFIN ISSUED HIT HE HAS SINCE RECANTED THIS VIEW AND ACCORDINGLY WENT UNDERGROUND. NIGPEN WAS SEEN IN THE STREETS OF NC SCREAMING AND RANTING FOR GLOSSES HEAD UNTIL 4:19AM AT WHICH TIME HE TUCKERED OUT HIS BROWN LITTLE FINGERS AND FELL INTO A MULATTO SLUMBER INDUCED BY BI POLAR RAGE ON METH SMOKE AFFECTING HIS BRAIN DIRECTLY. AS OF NOW THINGS ARE QUEIT BUT WHEN EL MUFFIN WAKES UP FROM HIS SLUMBER I FEAR THE WORST. STAY TUNED FOR MORE UPDATES IN THE NIGPEN/MANTIAGO HIT.
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