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2tripple0
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2tripple0
All Day
I'm trying to work this new style I was introduced to
caught rethinking my ideas as to was I'm supposed to do
cause I have no real plans and my life is kind of askew
and I'm trying to redevelop the life that I knew
anyways I put out a schedule for me to kind of review
it took a couple of days for me to draw it up though
but you see now I know whats going on and how to keep it true
so I started working out the kinks and putting it through the motions
and all of a sudden mad people want to get down with the program
and even though I aint worth shit each day in and out I stick to it
because before I even got here I was just lost and completely useless
but its been 4 and a half months now and im pretty sure its taken me years
cause I kind of lost the plot and fell off a bit but I'm going make this pioneer
anyways the people that I met along the way that wanted to get involved
started to mess with my shit and fuck me up and say everythings my fault
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I have no clue what this
"thing/program" of yours is. But you're doing a lot of built-up for it. Hope it's reveal doesn't fall flat in an anti-climatic fashion. OAN. You're rhymes may not be super lyrical or extremely complex, but I sure do dig the nitty gritty down to earth lingo you write in. It comes across as being solid and authenic.
Quote:
they started taking credit for my shit and putting me through hell
even my family wanted to fuck me and they ruined everything then blamed it on myself
so now I'm sitting here four and half months in and everything has changed a bit
cause this new style I drew up has turned out to be a bit more complex than I'd like to admit
guess life is just chaotic and now I'm surrounded by this horrible system
and I wish I could go back to the beginning of my life instead of stuck in this vision
if that makes sense but i'll try to say it again in a different way
im stuck working on this endless project that isn't working and its just really lame
and I wish I could start again from the beginning
but life isn't like that theres no second chances when it comes to living....
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Sooooo....huh? I still have no clue what this piece was about. I think you forgot to throw in a plot and a point. Lol. Come on Trip. I was riding with you, dawg. I really thought you'd come through in the clutch. Oh, well. But, yeah, you're most endearing quality is your realness when it comes it writing. Besides that, in this particular instance, I liked the clean and clear lines you put down. You had no bumps, stumbles or hiccups. It was smooth reading from start to finish. Strangley, even though your concept was completely on E, I still enjoyed reading this. That's saying something. However, don't go this route against more serious writers, because the end result will be much different. Decent showing my man. It's alway cool to read your stuff.
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Candy: You got skills, but I know that your indecipherable gibberish is really just trolling to max.