View Single Post
Old 03-04-2018, 11:50 AM   #9
Diablo
Badgerdick
 
Diablo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Showdown City
Posts: 2,633
Battle Record: 11-2


Champed
- Art of Writing League

Rep Power: 22685552
Diablo has a brilliant futureDiablo has a brilliant futureDiablo has a brilliant futureDiablo has a brilliant futureDiablo has a brilliant futureDiablo has a brilliant futureDiablo has a brilliant futureDiablo has a brilliant futureDiablo has a brilliant futureDiablo has a brilliant futureDiablo has a brilliant future
Default

Suth: Enjoyed the opening line actually, dive line was cool, Pirates line was probably your best line and that was great, hook arm was a great visual follow up as well tbh. I feelllike you could have mentioned the whole pirate thing earlier on and then really put together a character assassination type verse on that wavelength and really gone to town here with lines about that ish right through and made this even better. As it is, it's still a solid showing, highs and lows throughout really but when it's good (toward the end) it's really good.


Inf: in all honesty I didn't get the opener here, Cold floozy was cool, ring toss needed rewording naybe i thought (decent idea, just too wordy maybe?), Dark web was dope and fresh, prob my fave line of yours actually, peace sign flaccid was okay but could have been better, closer was good too

Tough little battle here. Both had highs and lows, I didn't get Inf's opener in truth which may take away something from it but Suth's pirate attack was what decided this for me here I think. The comedic factor overpowered the bars in inf's for me.

Vote - Suth
Diablo is offline