[uh-oh]

35-31 pats

but im hoping the eagles take it because fuck brady

i hope he leaves the field unscathed

but in the locker room a camera malfunctions and explodes, leaving brady unharmed, but catching his polyester uniform on fire, which melts into his skin leaving horrific burns and he is transported to the hospital. while recovering in the hospital he contracts mrsa and gets incredibly sick. the bacterial infection eats away most of his organs and he loses bone density but survives. finally upon release on the way home he gets in a car wreck and is pinned between a fender panel and semi bumper. upon pulling them apart with the jaws of life he bleeds out while a nearby raven circles. but instead of swooping in to feast on his corpse he simply lets a green wet shit out that lands in his eye the moment before life leaves it.