[uh-oh]

i liked it for what it was and this got a solid reception by the nc'ers

my only critique is just how you are rapping it sounds robotic and unnatural to me. not terribly, but its the main thing i always criticize when i hear something from a forum post. its very thought out and well written.

and to reiterate it because i know from my personal experience of trying to rap, when i'd write something i'd write it to read the way i want it to flow. so as im writing and hearing the beat i'm going over and over it until im imprinting it into my brain, but i imprint it the way i read it over the spontaneousness of how it came to me in the first place.

so while it flows and fits the beat it isn't natural

while this isn't a HEINOUS example of that it does stick out to me but i do also tend to listen for that.

if metaphors help picture a mechanic of some sort whose buddy brings over some dope car. he's proud of it and you are like yea man this is dopeeee. and he revs it and lets it idle and is like, man this thing sounds amazing right, but with your trained ear you hear a slight minor ticking. and you know something is off, but everyone else just hears a beasty motor in a beasty car

fix the tick danielson

<3

also i listened to this once when you initially posted it and wrote this reply basically a day later having not listened again.

i will listen again though. soon.