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Old 01-27-2018, 12:02 PM   #14
Orc
Certified Mother’s Boy
 
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 5,163
Battle Record: 5-1

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@Problumatic I can tell you've got skill as that verse was well crafted in the style that it's in. If you want to make the transition into short bar effectively then just have a set up and punch in each couplet. Replace the carried on schemes with internals and have the set up relate to the punch. Drop the caps and explaining. You'll be winning here in no time. Hit me up if you want any help transitioning. Skipping the next drive was a clever twist and the trump line was cool -- needs to be worded harder. Make the most out of your concepts.

Inf, conga line was nice. Pea coat line was funny as fuck. Closer was cool. Panama canal made me do the screw face. Overall pretty damn fire verse. Well done.

Overall Inf wins
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