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sral · 01-16-2018, 05:19 PM

People sleeping.

This flows like crazy, liked the alliteration in "tempered, temple knight..." to carry it in that line. People don't realise how important it is choosing the right sounding words like that until you record and find why those words fit so well. I see you though.

Licence to gawd made me LOL

Moving like I'm embalmed was dope, reminded me of something Deadman would say actually haha!

I can't lie, Rib it, life of a frog was a little corny to me as I read it but I see why you did it

If you can streak through this weather was nice

Keep that pen moving!

01-16-2018, 05:19 PM	#3
sral LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS Join Date: Aug 2014 Location: CRUMPETVILLE Posts: 8,605 Battle Record: 28-3 Champed - Gimmick Battle League - The Winter Topical - Topical Martyrs - Lime Green Poetry Association - Lyric Olympics - Art of Writing League - Guerrilla Writing League (2x) - Black August II Rep Power: 85899396	People sleeping. This flows like crazy, liked the alliteration in "tempered, temple knight..." to carry it in that line. People don't realise how important it is choosing the right sounding words like that until you record and find why those words fit so well. I see you though. Licence to gawd made me LOL Moving like I'm embalmed was dope, reminded me of something Deadman would say actually haha! I can't lie, Rib it, life of a frog was a little corny to me as I read it but I see why you did it If you can streak through this weather was nice Keep that pen moving! __________________ - Netcees Rebuttal Tourney - Art of Writing League (x 4) - AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season)