[Inno]

Razah
This was quite a short verse, which isn't a bad thing in a three-way battle. I interpreted this piece as being about a man who is trying to deal with loss. I read it as being the loss of a child, but I suppose it could just as easily be about the loss of a partner, or even just the end of a relationship. But the symbolism of ash and burning leaves made me connect this piece to a death. The visuals in this piece were strong and the language was striking.
From a technical standpoint, there wasn’t a lot of rhyme in this piece. There were a couple of multis but it wasn’t consistent. However the verse still flowed well through use of poetic techniques, such as employing very short lines and pausing. Also, I thought the use of metaphor helped the piece.
This was a good snapshot of a moment in time, giving good detail of the emotional state of the man as well as the physical details of his immediate surrounds. I enjoyed this work. Good stuff.

Innovator
I found this verse to be quite complex, in that I found it difficult to work out exactly who the focus of this piece was. At first I thought it was a personified death. After that I thought it was talking about potential and merely concluded with a reference to a personified death. So that’s what I ended up going with. I interpreted the piece as being about people not reaching their full potential because they spend their time trying to avoid death rather than ensuring that they truly live a life worth preserving. That people value the wrong things and have the keys to the treasures of life within easy reach but instead strive for the unimportant. I liked the content but I could have used a little more clarity.
Technically, the rhyme was fairly good. Their were a few multis here and there, and a fair bit of inner rhyming and assonance.
Nice piece, I liked it.

Mr J
I’m not at all sure that I followed this verse. I interpreted it as being about a guy whose life has gone to hell since the Financial Crisis. He and his family used to be well off and privileged but the Financial Crisis wiped away most of their money. They are still living in the big house and keeping up outward appearances of being rich, but all that is doing is piling up debt. And the strain is destroying his marriage. And he is planning to leave her because he feels like he can’t provide for her anymore and he feels like being the provider is his main responsibility. However the last four lines make me think I’m probably completely wrong in that interpretation. The reference to being 12 and everyone being Letourneau (the teacher that got with her 2 year old student) I’m guessing means that the main character feels like everyone is out to screw him over. But I can’t make him being 12 sync with the rest of the verse. So I’m assuming he’s saying that everyone is trying to fuck him over like he’s 12 and everyone else is Letourneau. That way it still meshes with my previous interpretation. But the only way I can make the last line fit in is if I assume his grin is humourless and an expression of hopelessness and giving up, and his thought of ‘that’s what you get…’ is in the same vein and semi-regretful. But I’m pretty sure that’s me stretching to make my interpretation work, so I probably don’t really get this piece.
In terms of the technical aspects of the verse, the rhyme was good. Very consistent use of multis, assonance and inners. As a general rule I dislike rhyming words with themselves (such as ending multiple line with ‘in’, ‘me’ and ‘you’) but the multis helped to disguise that. I also thought you did well to give your main character a clear personality, so I could feel like I could get a sense of what the guy was like who was relating the story to me.

Comparison
Alright, I’ve already broken down each verse separately, so I won’t say too much here. When looking at the technical writing skills displayed in the verses, I would say Mr J took that, with an easy flow and consistent use of multis. In terms of the content, I was feeling Razah the most. I thought his snapshot in time was interesting. It also helped that he conveyed his message and point quite clearly. With Innovator I wasn’t 100% sure I was getting it and with Mr J I was 100% I wasn’t getting it. Normally it is very difficult to get a vote from me with a short verse, because I look for the content and usually a short verse simply has less content than a long one. However, the clarity of the writing was the difference for me, and it’s where Razah took it.

Vote - Razah