01-09-2018, 07:17 AM
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#10
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Ad mini tator
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 10,025
Battle Record: 26-54
Champed
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Black August
- 1-2 Punch League
Rep Power: 85899403
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Quote:
asylum
don't have much to say about this verse honestly. I think the triple "memories" threw me for a loop or something.
almost dope line:
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... oceans of knowledge / the notion's acknowledged...
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could have been clean af and it was decent but it just felt out of place amongst the rest.
the ending was... cool but out of the blue for me. probably cuz I didn't know what your topic was.
diablo
holy shit is this gonna be it? mb I ain't sleeping you ain't gotta pm me about it lmao
last week I stated I can't get into sci-fi and you walked a really dope line here, you didn't push past the point of disbelief and I stayed focused the entire read. the onomatopoeia and strong use of audio sensories made the FUCK out of this piece.
dope lines:
uhhhh fuck off lemme do the only NOT dope line.
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The units A.I couldn't compute their petty reasons why / as the humans he mined the minds of, never seemed to mind.
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I minded.
line of the verse:
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Quark signalled a sensory message to confirm it was him / and the sibylline sectorbot sent an affirmative ping!
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shame you were against a verse I didn't vibe with at ALL, maybe we could have gone another week of you thinking I'm a hater.
mvgt diablo
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