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Old 01-08-2018, 11:54 PM   #7
King Ra.
The Throne, The Crown
 
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Greetings gentlemen, it's been awhile.

This here seems like a very lopsided battle. Diablo's script immediately captured my attention from the beginning as I found his use of very descriptive storytelling very appealing. He clearly had set a foundation in the telling of a futuristic world where robots lived/ruled I assume but I would say I really liked how the story focused on this one scenario, because Diablo was able to really hone in on putting the right details together, like the little conversations between Quark and the other automaton, the use of "z's" thrown here and there to really emphasize that there are robots conversing. He gave us a world, some characters and an overall well written story. Asylum, on the other hand, in comparison to Diablo's piece was a bit lackluster. Where we read a complete, fleshed out story on the one end, we get a much simpler to the point perspective, that wasn't necessarily bad, but maybe could have been better with a bit more clearer direction. The first couple lines were pretty good to open the verse but after that I felt Asylum trailed off the further I went into his piece. I liked some of the connections like "oceans of knowledge/notions acknowledged" but "ends in shrine"/"it's fact kid" were the little pieces that kind of took away from the overall feel of the read.

MVGT: Diablo.

Good job gentlemen.
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