[BROKE LESNAR]

Originally Posted by Unfukwitable

Just me, a Bayonet w/ a Sharp blade wedged in the front,
his HEAD START eRase'n off after get'n the Edge from the Gun..

☆☆☆

bullets in em turn his army to Armory & his sights gettin worse,
Shells living inside him He'll live a Turtles life in reverse

☆☆☆☆☆ lmao

U Pissed Off...? well before u get a Psst Off, a Pump pound ya,
Hotheads get Under ya skin til ya Blood boils in Gun powder.

☆☆☆☆☆

^Basically ima kill u no matter the vibe,
U gave Hush Puppie eye's he left u Battered and fried

☆☆☆☆☆ dope

It's A price on Schads head and Al couldn't get the bands,
Lemme work my Magic Karp.. I'm Splashing every time I get the chance!

☆

Gunbar'd him to death... its a gritty sentence,
But I had to Cred it, Karma's here to settle scores w/ a 357

☆

Originally Posted by Schadenfreude

aka Noquear, look..

Few uppers w/ Red Bull s’got Me in an unstable rage,
‘nuff to cut him in half, leave furniture crashed next to ‘table legs.

☆ using "table" from unfukwitable was desperate

Beaten nobodies, one good match to every 40 u’re in
even horrid in wins, can’t call u a pro, Choice was like aborting a kid.

☆the multis here didn't do much to disguise the ineffectiveness of the punch, use them to accentuate the punch, not overdress them to distract from quality

Barely motivated, so whothefuck said this bum is fire,
I’ll have the .4 clear Noquear, even his own murder’s Un inspired.

☆☆☆☆☆

Chick’s rated 1 short of 6, still you support the bitch..
fucked er’body, whole team’s smacked ‘5’..wasn’t for sportsmanship.

☆

Insane how the Tomahawk’ll turn ya mid into pork rib,
like New Year’s, hospice’ll nurse the hangover longer than Orc did.

☆

His homies’ll witness the homi, leave this punk bloody
hazardous tec having casual sex, throw pussy all over Fuk buddies.

☆ lmao @ hazardous tec having casual sex wtf yo

..BODY.

Fuk takes it rather easily. He didn't have to drop flawless to win, but he did have some fire. Schad, look bro. Everybody lets you slide because of your multi usage. They're pretty decent, but you allow yourself to get caught up in sacrificing the punch for them. Try using them exclusively at the end of each line instead of cramming them into the bar. Doing this will allow for greater creativity and emphasis on the punch.

setup/multi
closer/multi

not

setup/multi
multi/closer/multi

You actually did what I'm suggesting you do in your last several bars, but you come across as uncomfortable when doing that. Stay with THAT style, build on it, perfect it, own it.

v-Fuk