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Old 12-29-2017, 09:42 AM   #13
Amen
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gunplay View Post
My aim is sharp..

2 rounds to his chest like a hot cougar w/ big tits,
Or I can box sooner with this kid,
See Hero get hooks w/o John Cooper from Skillet!

Wasn't feeling this much. Light, IMO.

Point at his girl, as I pop gats at her head,
Streaming it live cause Comcast is the best,
He’ll sleep w/ fishes once shots blast at this pest
Put Ant-in a box as I get his brawd casted on net!

This was ok but drawn out. Could have been executed nicely with more of a short bar structure. Execution was mild, also... Needed more of a harsher execution and this would have been fire.

His girl a BBW, this fucking fool acts shameless,
Kill em both as I got rusty tools that scrape em,
My knife will go through thick and thin ...
......... my blade doesn’t do fat shaming!./

Nah, this was statement'ish - no real insult or punch here that has any impact on your opponent.

Blood on my hands as I attack you in the crib,
Got a blade that’ll detach you from your limbs,
Leave your head & shoulders in the trunk ...
..... fuck I forgot the shampoo in my Benz!./

Same as above, plus way over worded for such a light concept.

A goldmic legend, have I told of the times?
Short bar or long bar, still dope with the rhymes
But it’s not the patches in your jeans ......
..... when I say you got holes in your style!./

I am the one and only GOLDMIC legend, homie LOL... Don't get it twisted, haha... You GOLDMIC V2 lol. Anyways - this also needed harsher execution.

Bold in my mind if we ever spoke of skill-sets,
Wtf is a Anti Hero... this blokes a big threat?
That term-might get him grounded .....
.... cause Ant’s just digging a hole for himself!./

Concept dope with the WP and NP in there however, over worded. And the execution needed more of a harsher effect - Ok so he's digging a hole for himself, not really harsh - feel me? Concept was dope tho.

In a song battle id honestly deaden his track
Suited for murder, I’ll have him dead in his tracks
A damsel in distress...Leave em dead in the tracks
Big game hunting..Pussy will be dead in the tracks

This was sloppy and way to URL'ish and personally I hate text battle formats mimicking LIVE URL shit lol...

His predictions? I’ll cold case this chump,
Also the weapons he holds way too blunt,
They’re BOTH like weather report bloopers..
................ just won’t make the cut!./

Making the cut concepts are dated, bro.

His NBL predictions, he isn’t the brightest guy,
Lacks knowledge of scripts and the nicest lines,
Cause those predictions won’t come true....
U’d think he had em written in Mayan scribes!./

Mayan concepts are also dated. Shit I used plenty back on OPENMIC before it turned in to GOLDMIC, lol...

Aero almost stomped this fucker truly,
Both weak, I’d rock and son the groupies,
You won’t see that paramount to a big hit ....
........ Unless it’s a Warner Brother movie!./

This had potential but the execution lacked.

One yaself

Ant in a box / antenna box

For the most part, expos at the bottom aren't needed. You can just utilize the word you are trying to play off of in your verse and the majority will know it's a wordplay attempt, man. So Antenna box could have been placed in the bar rather then the broken up WP.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anti Hero View Post
Forced ya way past registration, all of ya multis are FORCED TOO
Ya cap ‘em like a DORK DUDE, to ‘ya girl’ u brough, blink twice if he FORCED YOU
Didn't like this.
You fragile herb faggot nerd, u brought your online gf here like baby grab ur purse
Dunno if thats worse or sayin’ “VERY THICK - BIGGEST OF BONERS” in a battle verse
LOL... This was cool but the execution was light.
An online gf bruh?! Quick to draw me, but it’s no trigger on this cunt’s finger
HOF? I’ll dismantle Gun’s myth like a gunsmith if Guns linger
Flow was dope, punch was ok.
I’m a smidge ruthless, sho gun my calligraphy skills if he get stupid
When I put ink to paper I hand gun a L like a little kid drew it
Not feeling this one.
Looked at NBL n saw Play booked, knew this dummy would get stifled
You ain’t callin the shot, gun. N Gun stock dropping like I’m clumsy with the rifle
This was ok.
Fuck a gun, I’ll snap ur neck til ur eyes face the back of ya maimed spine
Then I’ll talk shit to your face and behind ur back at exactly the same time
Wasn't feeling this one. I had something similar to this a long time ago.
This text fight bores me, with your corny stretched lines u bet im snoring
Came here guns blazing but you can get covered n red too… bedtime story
LOTB. This was mean... Well worded and executed.
You shoulda ducked kid, does the girl you brought suck dick?
Doesn’t matter, I’m John Bobbit after Lorena chopped it, I’m nothin to fuck with
Lmao, mad played.
Anti Hero has an extremely corny name - something DAGEL even came up with and used on RB and he's probably one of the lamest internet dweebs known to hip hop rap battle text forums lol. But anyways, Gunplay - just because you broke the bars down in to mini lines and did not utilize caps for your multies doesn't make them short bar lol... You still have pretty much the same syllable count as a long bar would have. Short bar is a setup and a punch. Throw a scheme in there and it can cause that setup or punch to fly or flop. Try and cut down on over wording your bars man... Take a peep around and see what some of these other cats are doing as far as structure. I didn't automatically discredit you for long baring out for this one but a lot of your concepts were hindered by either being over worded or the lack of a proper/harsh execution. Ant still shaking rust, I see... niGGa dropped a Lorena Bobbit bar LMAO... I haven't seen one of those since like the early/mid 2000's... So I guess he revived a played concept? IDK.. That one is one of those played concepts people let die out and never used for a long time lol... That covered in red/read too bar was nasty and easily LOTB. Gun - fix your structure and you'll do just fine here, bro. You have the concepts down, now control over wording them and slap on some mean executions/insults and you'll be a contender.

I got Anti-Hero
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