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Old 12-22-2017, 09:42 AM   #7
Hawk
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 153
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cred View Post
This chopper relinquish souls, n ur fam ‘ll be my latest victims
Gun in ur wifes mouth.. then put ur baby in the air like I’m playin wit em

^^^ This had a dope flow to it. But the punch fell kind of short to me. You mean the gun will lift the baby off the ground? You shooting him/her from the prone position? If you tied in something else to lifting the baby it would have been dope. Otherwise I can only imagine you throwing a child in the air and not catching them. Which is fucked up, but not really as brutal as the rest of the bar.

All shots hittin ur head. I go huntin wit the 9 wen I’m grippin the lead
Catch you n put the mil in ur face.. shout out Diodes positivity thread

^^^ Nasty. Just saw that thread earlier so it landed well.

Des made to fight!? I gotta uppercut that’ll havem say gud night
Or givem that Lenox treatment.. 1 Cross ‘ll fuck up his face for life

^^^ 3rd Lenox face tat bar I've read this week. But this one is probably the best executed. The set-up could have been a bit more creative but the punch def landed. Dope.

Slugs aimin at ur chin, or pumps to ur torso like u trainin at the gym
Two arms to ur chest ‘ll lay u down bitch! I’m Undertaker wit the pin

^^^ I liked this a lot. Granted I wish pin was a bit more connected to the rest of the gun reference but I think it still landed well.
Even though your lines aren't incredibly short, your writing style has a very fast-paced feel to it. Makes everything seem more erratic which works in your favor. Nothing I didn't like, couple things I really liked. I wish you wrote one more bar, since Des said he was dropping 10.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Destroyer View Post
Might be a ship short, but call me Columbus when I come see ya
Cuz when des pulls up with that Nina, u cry out for Santa Maria

^^^ This was a well crafted punch from beginning to end. I like how you even said a ship short because you didn't squeeze Pinta into the line haha. Good shit.

leave u full of holes dude. I’m not just old, bitch I’m old school
Cred’ll be shirtless w/his chest all covered in meat juice like “I thought I told u...”

^^^ Dying. The set-up isn't even special and it still got me kind of hyped. It was just quick and had a dope cadence to it. Punch was fire

Step right up. ain’t no games when the lead starts to cut air
but des’ll aim at this clown’s mouth & won’t stop til I win the giant stuffed bear

^^^ God damn.

Gun bar king? Nah, more like total disgrace
U from Chi guy? Then it’s apropos that I leave u w/three holes in ya face

^^^ First time your set-up wasn't fantastic. I can kind of twist it into being related, but the rest of them were pretty flawless. None the less the Chi guy/Shy Guy 3 holes punch was absolute fire.

come with everything u can hold, cuz it ends w/ u buried
Fuck my wife...
when this kid dies, he’s gonna be the one who miscarried

^^^ Mmmm. Pretty solid closer
I fucked with this verse a lot. Some of my favorite punches I've read so far and you have a really cool writing style. Set-ups were {pretty much} all very well done too.


This is probably the closest battle I've read so far. Both of you know what you're doing and have your own styles that I liked a lot. But Destroyer came out swinging hard and pulled this one out.

Vote - Destroyer







***Edit***


I saw in the chat the Destroyer said to remove his last bar to make them even. I'm not sure what to do since I already took that bar into account while voting. @Orc or any other mod, insight appreciated.

Last edited by Hawk; 12-22-2017 at 04:34 PM.
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