Really dope piece, thoroughly enjoyed it from start to finish. Despite that though I felt you got a little bit lazy with the slant rhymes here and there although they mostly worked, the problem is that when they don't really work out in the readers head (accent etc. probably) they don't work at all. I also felt the bit you did with the weed was a bit drawn out and simple compared to the otherwise deeper content when a couple lines would have covered that topic well and kept the jumping back'n'forth of different topics and raw poetic wisdom going with the same flow throughout.
Either way, it isn't any serious hiccups at all, shit was dope af. Nice to see some fresh well thought out shit and work put into a piece, +rep on that. You should check out the AOWL, it might be fore you. Welcome to Netcees.
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I'm not a slave for entertainment, I'm entertainments personal slave,
So deep into writing I'm concerned bout the text on my grave.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=gV8ozGcGJ6o
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