[Deluzion]

well I was coming home late one night
Just driving aimlessly not a headlight in sight
got so lost just half a mile from my house
looking at my hand on the steering wheel
thinking about the scar.. you know on my left hand
I must have smoked the whole pack that night
salem menthol lights.. oh you never liked that brand
and I must have put each one out in the same spot
the smell of the pond mixed with frying skin
now I’m still driving on local streets too busy thinking
about the night I sat on the pond side bench
all I could imagine was me instead of that pack sinking
so light it stayed afloat
what foreshadow what a simile (just like I did)
when all was gone inside
to remember every night wanting to disappear
to remember all the times you left me out
to remember every second you took from me
all the memories where you picked me last
where you were my world I was your suburb
a little boy.. you put my dog down every night
just a fool holding on to something I never had
all the weekends plastered on dormitory walls
of every college I never attended
I’ll never forget those work days I prayed for
just to get away to preoccupy my mind
I’ll never forget that memorial day weekend
friends outside trying to honk me out
while your inside trying to keep me home
didn’t have to yell, bicker & shout
just another morning waking up to you
my only solace.. is that I never gave in
all your threats you threw my way
all the times I never listened
I guess you didn’t really win
because when my heart told me it was time
you’ve been sleeping with regret ever since