[big baby]

i sat in the dark. you meant to ask me a question
halfway suggested that it was something important. i mean

im sorry, i wrote this huge thing, and it got deleted, and this is about the 50th time it happened to me this week and i am completely over creating things and having to deal with a stupid fucking intrnet connection or me hitting back and undo buttons mysteriously never around. i'll try to cook something up as fast as i can, because my previous outing was so long and in depth i felt i could win a pulitzer on it. anyway

this was extremely dead man. what i wrote - part of it, was atleast, that you've adopted this contrasting style, and adorned it with an opposite effect, paradoxical quips you've created with your breath. it's original and styled with adverse effects. the second thing i've noticed about the authenticity in a deadman piece, would be - the truth to everything.

when you go 'its human nature to scream'

the audience agrees with it and its almost pressured to believe that it's real, that it has happene dto them and that they have been through it. it's human nature. it powers your thematic element and it powers the imagination of the reader, and it powers the turbines that created the electricity to power the piece in the beginning and it fits, and it's adorned along with your contrasting style and it has very intense inclinations.

you scream at people, when you're in pain, in the street, at a football game. it is human nature. in fact, the beauty and magic of this piece lies in that line alone, the human nature of all of this.

the culmination of collective greed, your excellency
at war with resentment. dissemination of seed
collective goals collapsing miscellaneously
all in a week. how do you say - a day in your feet?
ah, a walk in your shoes. stairsteps left incomplete

i like that line. all in a week, ahhh..how do you say.. a day in your feet? ahhh yes *sips coffee* long pause, a walk in your shoes. narrator budges in, stairsteps left incomplete. great stuff. all in a week....human nature.. this is human nature. you adorned everything, from the contrast, to the truthness. people like believing in something, and if they've done it, they've said it, or even seen it, you repeating it, adorned with poetry, with words they can't create, with emotions they cant explain, reading words they wish they had wrote, this becomes magical. this is what writers do, they shouldnt rely on one factor, rhyming things to infinity. there isnt magic there. just habits. habits lie in the rhyming. not saying you can't string together beautiful pieces by focusing immensely on your rhyming - but here it seems to take priority to other things...things that can't be explained as deftly as a writer can. it's magic. it's deadman


even delicately placed things to ramp up a theme takes on this effect that you put in place...

it's only been a year. i still remember your face

it's been a year... well, only a year. a year is nothing. or it's....pretty long. anyhow, it's only been a year. do you know what i mean by this? i still remember your face. the contrast here is lightly stained with a highlighted meaning not mentioned by the writer. it's just small things like this that make the read must more enjoyable.

what are the odds. talking to god for nobody's sake

even for the devotional, this speaks volumes. this is the truth i was referring too... we.. or anybody we know, even the crazy guy you used to work with, or go to school with. have talked to themselves. you've seen it, heard it, talked about it, and probably regularly do so yourself, in some form or manner. it's just human nature. like the way we scream. this is really cool, it just makes the read THAT much richer. that's what makes it exclusive.

thanks. i enjoyed this.