Mr j
As usual dropping some heat. I loved your diction in this one, why do I feel like you write everything last minute? I feel like you have that controlled chaos thing going with your verses. They seem free flowing but always with s purpose. This was a cool topic, a man distraught about how he was portrayed by the people around him to the one he loved? That’s what I’m getting. Ultimately coming to the conclusion he’s better off. Word. What shines here is your abstract writing that balances the line between poetry and freehand. Dope ish mang.
Lars
This was a cool little thang you wrote here. Creative with the quips and funny comments. You painted a precise picture and told a concise narrative. Not or flashy though but the humor stands out as your best asset in this verse. I feel like you held back and probably could of went in a bit more, so there’s that. Honestly the last line was hilarious lol. And even though it’s just one line I feel like it had a natural fit to it’s tone, which intern made for a subtle yet funny end.
Over all
I got Lars taking this one. Both verse didn’t impress really J had a good verse but Lars has a more precise story with humor taking the cake here for me. I feel like both held back but in the end Lars edged J in this one.
Thanks for the read fellas
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