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Inno · 10-21-2017, 09:59 PM

Geno

Great topic. Something personals is always s dope perspective to write about. Right off the bat yo I get rolling with the flow and rhythm. Your fluidity was smooth at all times and your diction was great at points. You described the riggers ofcsmokkng very clearly and you paint a solid picture of what a smoker is. I’m a smoker so I know all that shit, my girl don’t kiss me neither niggah lmao. The hot loogies lol, walking up knowing you don’t want to but you smell one anyway almost begrudgingly. Yeah I’m familiar with all that. So yeah I appreciate what you wrote here bruh foreal. The one gripe I have is towards the end, I found interesting. You know you should of expanded more on that idea, you know the back and forth weighing of smoking or not. Knowing it’s goomg to kill you(although I don’t want to die) but you smoke anyway. And the inevitable consequences. I believe expanding on those points a bit more would of gave your ending s not more grit and stronger impact.

Mmlp

Very creative topic bruh. Hats off to you for this one honestly it was unique an refreshing lol. On to the verse. You had a crisp and very tight flow going man. Honestly since the last time was in the AOWL you’ve improved a lot. This was solid work mechanically from top to bottom. You had the crisp flow along with the sharp and fluid wording that seem to spill over to the next line. I thought you did a clever job of dropping hints throughout your verse, laying out a subtle picture of your topic, well done. Toward the ending it got s not weird for me, I thought the focus would be the princess and you know Mario’s plight lol. You switched it up and made it about Luigi and Mario’s relationship which I thought was interesting but I felt like it that twist wasn’t really necessary tbh.

Overall

I lied both verses, geno came with something more relatable and honest or who he is. While mmlp dropped a creative and clever topic and verse which he fleshed out almost perfectly. So technically both are sound geno isn’t known for being a slouch and mmlp has been impressive as of late with his mechanics. So it comes down to preference, I could go with geno because I relate to is verse more, but mmlp’s creativity can’t be ignored. Although geno dropped an outstanding verse. In a tourney where it’s up to you to choose a topic, I would assume in a battle that is close like this one creativity can play a big part. So for that I’m going with mmlp.

Thanks for the read fellas.

10-21-2017, 09:59 PM	#5
Inno Ad mini tator Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 10,025 Battle Record: 26-54 Champed - Lime Green Poetry Association - Black August - 1-2 Punch League Rep Power: 85899403	Geno Great topic. Something personals is always s dope perspective to write about. Right off the bat yo I get rolling with the flow and rhythm. Your fluidity was smooth at all times and your diction was great at points. You described the riggers ofcsmokkng very clearly and you paint a solid picture of what a smoker is. I’m a smoker so I know all that shit, my girl don’t kiss me neither niggah lmao. The hot loogies lol, walking up knowing you don’t want to but you smell one anyway almost begrudgingly. Yeah I’m familiar with all that. So yeah I appreciate what you wrote here bruh foreal. The one gripe I have is towards the end, I found interesting. You know you should of expanded more on that idea, you know the back and forth weighing of smoking or not. Knowing it’s goomg to kill you(although I don’t want to die) but you smoke anyway. And the inevitable consequences. I believe expanding on those points a bit more would of gave your ending s not more grit and stronger impact. Mmlp Very creative topic bruh. Hats off to you for this one honestly it was unique an refreshing lol. On to the verse. You had a crisp and very tight flow going man. Honestly since the last time was in the AOWL you’ve improved a lot. This was solid work mechanically from top to bottom. You had the crisp flow along with the sharp and fluid wording that seem to spill over to the next line. I thought you did a clever job of dropping hints throughout your verse, laying out a subtle picture of your topic, well done. Toward the ending it got s not weird for me, I thought the focus would be the princess and you know Mario’s plight lol. You switched it up and made it about Luigi and Mario’s relationship which I thought was interesting but I felt like it that twist wasn’t really necessary tbh. Overall I lied both verses, geno came with something more relatable and honest or who he is. While mmlp dropped a creative and clever topic and verse which he fleshed out almost perfectly. So technically both are sound geno isn’t known for being a slouch and mmlp has been impressive as of late with his mechanics. So it comes down to preference, I could go with geno because I relate to is verse more, but mmlp’s creativity can’t be ignored. Although geno dropped an outstanding verse. In a tourney where it’s up to you to choose a topic, I would assume in a battle that is close like this one creativity can play a big part. So for that I’m going with mmlp. Thanks for the read fellas.