[Ullr]

I'm feeling drained, can hardly find the motivation
to get up out of bed, I feel my fire's slowly fading
a prisoner of pain, lying silent in my stasis
pathetic as can be, and my mind is wholly wasted...

I used to think of art, had a love for mathematics
now a smile or wishful thought would be the last thing I'd imagine
I just sit and surf the net, spend my days up on my forums
getting blazed while drowned in debt, games I play to numb the boredom
nothing seems important when your only comfort consists of porn for some endorphins...

cut the cord from the phone, pretending I don't need the conversation
all I want is to be happy, but that's something that I seem so far away from
darkness is a cloud, surrounds my heart with desolation
I send messages to girls, they sense my marked desperation
like they smell my lack of sex and depart without a statement
two hundred sixty pounds, at least last time that I had weighed in
I guess my rolls of fat aren't exactly what they're craving...

Thinking back to days in school, remember all the teachers
who told me I was special too, and complimented all my features
fucking liars, I hate that they deceived me
gave me confidence for nothing, as if my face just wasn't beastly
but no matter how they tried, naught could save me from the TV
that told me all the truths, and shaved away all of my feelings
that razor'd left me reeling, deflated and congealing
a bloody sack of shit, disgraceful, unappealing...

I'd probably just end it, but I'm too much of a pussy
scared to try for suicide, wish someone would come and push me
high atop my balcony, thoughts go racing through my mind
nights spent staring out my window, wish grenades would break in through the blinds
to burn me from this world, and erase my bitter mind...

just another night of boredom, I'm just spacing out in time...

Pathetic.