I can't see the picture or topic if there even is one from this shitty work comp?
Fuck it though, while i'm here, may as well cast a vote up:
Mr. J was largely on for me. I loved this line, mainly for its contrast between the two things:
Quote:
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Worlds apart living in the coexisting timeline
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However, I felt it would have worked better as the second in a couplet rather than the first. That's just me, though, I guess.
Quote:
We must reproduce, reevaluate, & re-manufacture
Now is the time, we are the lead benefactors.
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re-manufacture/lead benefactors was a dope as fuck multi-rhyme IMHO. It matched up really well, I like that ish.
Quote:
Greed motivates power, the cycle continues
With such an overabundance, time will be an issue.
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cycle continues/time will be an issue is like a syllable out, and mismatching like that really irks me for some reason. Call it pedantic if you want, but I hold myself to crazily high standards and its something I'd never personally do. There was another spot I noticed errors in smoke/heirs that choked but I put that down to more of an accent thing so I let it slide, even if I wouldnt have used it. The closer was cool, maybe a little long compared to the majority of line lengths you had. Solid enough verse overall, even if the approach had been done before.
Adonis: Yours was less about the technical aspects and more the content for me. I liked the opening line about walk with no Uber LOL. Hapless happiness is a cool choice of words, it just felt out of place a little to me with the rest of the verse maybe? Cats got your tongue was a standout as a quoteable. I didn't really feel the "twist" if you want to call it that, it lacked something. Maybe development? I mean it was straight, but all happened a bit too quickly and didn't seem as pre-planned or thought out and given any flesh to the bones of it, where Mr J's had that advantage to it this time out. There you have it.
I'm going with Mr. J.