[Witty]

Originally Posted by Code Black

This is it people. Those of you dumb enough to get glasses from NASA will be the first to go. If you're within 69 miles of the eclipse's path, your best chance is to lather yourself with baby oil at the 66.6 second mark and offer yourself to the nearest forest as a live-in maid. They may be able to protect you.

If you're trapped in the continental US, expect martial law and Rothschild militia takeover. Death tolls will spike in major metropolitan areas, but no one will be safe. This will likely ruin your labor day plans, so try to think of some excuses asap.

Europe will become their next stronghold. Keep an eye out for the signs if you manage to make it. Ignorant voter populace. Rising tensions over minute differences. A boom in young adult dramedy movies and generic brand detergent. This is their will being manifested.

I'll be on Bangladesh, barricaded in my vacation home, an apartment above a tapas restaurant/whorehouse. Attempt to contact me by going to Ahmed's Little Plates and Oral Pleasure house and ordering the Dhaka Steamer.

I'll try to keep in touch, but Bangladesh just hit 2006 internet memes and Ahmed used all of our bandwidth the last month downloading two girls, one cup.

Out

Lmao