One time I was walking to the bank about to cash my check. I sharted in the middle of the street while I was crossing. Started the whole one leg limp cuz my pants were sticking to it. Got all the way inside the bank and went to the restroom. Pulled my pants off, cleaned up and left my dirty drawers in the trash. Cashed my check and went home.
Another time I sharted myself I was working at Subway. I was in the middle of making someone a sandwich when I did it. They saw the expression on my face, asked me if I was okay. I said "yeah" and customer left. I went to the restroom, pulled my pants down, cleaned up and left my dirty drawers in the trash. I walked home and never went back to that job again.
Another time I sharted myself, I was staying with a buddy of mine and his mom. She had just sold her house so we were staying in a weekly rent apartment. The floors were off white carpet even in the restroom. I was bending over brushing my teeth and I thought I had to fart.
They taxed her for the carpet.
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