Max shoulda but a the before pharoahs for flow. And turn treasury to treasure. Other hen that those first two stanzas were dope af. Some bits on conquering obstacles at the end there, nice work.
Sammy that bottomless pity at the end just threw me through a loop are we having a pity party now? I have no idea. Cool examination of our mortality, the mudaneneas of the rat race. Humanity. Nice material.
Mvgt maximus had a little bit more here, my only helpful advice is to avoid stanza breaks unless theyre for emphasis im the storyline. Gg
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