[Adonis]

2k - another non-banger bro. I'm waiting for that coming out party. something like fish is awful writing, its clear you write fast and don't edit. Many errors, plenty of instances where you didn't rhyme, or where the rhyme just isn't good. I.wish you would improve man, you've been stuck in this bubble for too long.

IV- I think you went the simple or obvious route in terms of concept, but it's a fully loaded concept to say the least. Could have been a full thirty page verse, but you did well considering it was on the shorter side. Opening with ion rhyme scheme is never good because it's a commonly used scheme and the opener and closer should be the highlight imo. You keep a tight rhythm, so I appreciate that. Story is what it is, not one I believe in reality, I think trump might be the cog in the wheel we needed honestly.


V. IV

Stronger grasp on mechanics and overall execution