[Frank]

2tripple0G

You're writing like the runt of the litter again, holmes. Don't disregard the topic out of pure ignorance. Take a moment to interpret it deeply and hone in on your coherent qualities. Lines like these demonstrate your distinct writers voice;

Eg:
"a site with no meaning as if it was sumn out of stone henge
a lion in a den a fire from this depth of its origin
coulda been a fierce warrior indian chief
his land was vast big and wide and far and long
ended up fading while they stood with an army forty strong
so they entered the dwelling
They decided these people werent ready for the ending
there were still so many parts of this world we were forgetting
everything end up just depending on its settlements
as resourceful as these people think they are
they decided if they were to start following the stars"

This season I want to see you snap out of that jobber mentality and start approaching your verses with a sense of seriousness like how I quoted you above. Continue to compare with similes, like this, like that, like this, like that, but develop an encapsulating concept first. There is a certain gimmicky vibe that these type of verses give off; jestering around like a headless chicken waiting to be decapitated for the sole entertainment value of the readers. Never has there been, to my knowledge, across the net, a more easy pickings type character such as yourself. I mean, talking Nasif or PT got or ra ill. Characters who were known to lose and did so famously. I don't know, holmes. Shape up or ship out.

Coup

Probably one of the better voters around. Glad to have you aboard once again dropping knowledge. I picked up on the word summer sticking out. Struck me paradoxically because we're in the dead of winter. Strange how the seasons have such a drastic connotation depending on what season you're in while reading. I liked the reiteration of "Words and sense. Sticks and stones. And bones." Especially before the final line. Added a profound depth to an otherwise unlengthy verse. The premise was very strong. The flow was interesting, although not technical nor polished by any means, but it had purpose. Your interpretation of the picture was unique and provocative. Interesting in seeing your progression and how your style pans out against different topics.

Voting Coup

Thanks for the read