This is an interesting battle.... and it is quite close
Maximus brought in a story about his mother... the language was good, but i hate to say... i didnt feel too connected to the mother... yes she died... apparently got shot, but th build to that moment wasnt really there... its like my mom helped me, then some people came in and shot her... the end... It also started like you were gonna discuss race... and then flipped it to talk about your mom... and then she dies... the opening thought really didn't get completely discussed and there wasnt enough time for me to "care" about the mother... i think it woulda been more fruitful to the eye, if maybe she did something heroic why she was being killed... maybe discuss more of the emotions you felt while this "shooting" was going on...
Adonis -
i get the message that you are trying to get across, but once again i wish there was more depth... explaining how we used to fight for our survival and now we are surrounded by technology, at least that is what i got from it.. Also i see that you say today humans are lke robots in this society and you would rather go back to when people had to communicate with eachother...
I think that maybe Maxes verse was written better... not by much... but adonis' verse was a tad bit more though provoking.. Adonis verse made me think a bit more... and in the end... Max's story didnt really pull me in... hook line and sinker
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