Timeless
This felt scattered as the intro rolled along to the middle. Your flow was off and it felt like you half assed it at first no pun intended. Towards the middle and you got your feet under you and managed to write so good stuff. You the story nicely and kept the focus on the topic nicely. But I feel like your intro was slow to pick up. Tbh it was boring. But overall this was a cool read bro. Nicely done.
Jeso
This was cool. You took the topic and made it your own. From the jump I can see you took a little more time with topic witch in turn made your wording and flow a lot more clean and crisp to the ear. You definitely shined in the flow and kept it that way through out your verse. I saw a lot of spelling errors that took away from your overall diction because I thought you had nice wording through out.
Overall
Good battle both had there moments to shine and flicker. But I feel like overall jesodist brought a lot more to the table for me. I enjoyed his twist on the topic a lot more.
Vote jeso
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