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Old 05-21-2013, 02:11 AM   #13
Fig
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Adonis The first stanza really held the best lines of the whole piece, and It was a very well written expression of an angels inner turmoil. The flow was also best in the intro, but it fell off after that. The concept itself was fair, however I appreciated the slight twist at the end, thought it was a nice touch. Yeah, but overall, I dug this verse.

Split

Quote:
lapping in brain waves, concert hall echoing.
Boston Symphony.
this is deafening:
music to a silent memory of a place you knew,
Fuck that was great man lol. Honestly, with a little more development, I see you taking this easily, but unfortunately the ending felt a bit underwhelming for me. I can appreciate where you were going, but in the end I can only judge whats here.

Vote/Adonis
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