[ZeeDee]

Split, this was a cool start of a verse... the intro was nice and had a very personal feel to the narration. Flow and structure were cool and the way you personalized. This was obviously not completed though... I liked what you were doing and thought this might of been a great piece if expanded on to pick up and carry that concept. I've seen you write a lot better too so maybe ur just uninspired..

Adon, dispite all the bullshit... I have nothing against u... this was a pretty detailed and imagery filled verse and those are two crucial elements I love to see in stories. The flow started off cool and then slacked off, but the story developed regardless. I assume the blue is Satan, but unsure who the red font represents... was kinda interesting how the devil is blue and the other is red alnost suggesting that they're more evil than the devil... the details of our world in ruins is always interesting to see how people paint it...

Vote adon