I didn't like the back-to-back rhymes on the first few lines. I know that sounds ridiculous coming from me, but it read a little clunky. There were a couple of lines I didn't like after that, specifically "murderous plot/tourniquet’s knot".
But, whenever you slowed it down a bit and let your words work for you, it was pretty god damn great. No hyperbole. This was well-written to the point that it actually makes me want to write again. Definitely a good read, Certain.
“Pig.” Some wear it like a badge, with pride and belief,
so damn certain that they’re on the right side of the beef.
And we can’t breathe. Hands up, eyes down. Give up the chase.
Disassembling our physical frames in the name of keeping them safe.
So we’re on the block with attitude, fist-pumping the chorus.
It’s fuck the police — even as the system’s fucking them for us.
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