Pinot Grij, Telegraphed Pinot. You got the formula. It's heavy on the calories. Quickly digestible, and satisfying, but it's empty calories, though. Everyone has their niche in this tournament and you played to your strengths here as expected of you. Slapstick comedy with a Rodney Dangerfield set up/punch attack. Cimmerian said (unlike dead man I read votes occasionally before voting) that the comedy was low brow. It was corny funny. I like the constant barrage of light bulb idioms line after line after line after line, but you missed a line. The Hookers Alley line did not have a light bulb idiom, which threw me off a bit, because you were so consistent. Familiar with the Howl poem by Allen Ginsberg. That line threw me for a loop cause I know some of the beats personally. Little vulgar in the last few lines but it definitely got your point across. Sometimes curse words can depreciate a piece, but in this case it added a pent up angst of a lightbulb man who hadn't blown his fuse in a few hours. Liked how you put up the picture on the top of the verse. Gave the verse a domineering look. Approach was clever and creative but the subject matter was a bit tacky and crude to my liking. Teenagers would eat it up.
Eng, I had to look up the pronunciation of synecdoche & inexorably. Your vocabulary is spectacular. Thick, dense, maze like wording. Enj has arrived and is being awarded recognition from an array of voters who are being enlightened by the penmanship this man Eng possesses. You can't even duplicate his name correctly because it has a British ŋ. Crafty and introverted, introspective. Showed stylistic traits of those who frequent the open mic. (deadman, bigbaby, etc) Lots of self talk (I'm, I, It's okay, etc) Their is an introverted appeal to that. This verse was like a jarring image. Like waking up and seeing the morning sun through the strands of your eyelashes. Overall its journalistic.
The stylistic clash lived up to the hype. Having an extremely difficult time picking a winner here.
Re-reading.
Studying picture for 5 isolated meditative minutes.....
Hovering......
Re-reading in opposite order.
Processing....
More thoughts. Eng and Pinot both mentioned their penises which was weird. Eŋg left the picture out of the equation and alluded to it. Pinot put his picture on top of his verse. Pinot Grij was ranked number 1 in the power ranks and is down by a few votes here. This is the heated debate between Topical and Story based verses. As a storyteller myself, I have to vote Pinot Grij here.
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