BB. fuck, man. you know how partial i am to this kind of work. i read some of the votes above (which i try to never do before casting one) and saw pinot mention that he felt emotionally disconnected from a lot of the verse based on a lack of human experience or motivation. i did not get this impression.
Quote:
bystanders looked at us argue
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c'mon now. that is real. well, if you're even a tad dysfunctional... as we all should be
i think any portion of this that did not tie into a deeply human experience was rooted in imaginative imagery and a sort of conceptual sketchwork. i almost felt you playing with the words as you were writing them, weaving the visuals together experimentally. tying it in. the sighs of relief segment was an obvious highlight. also loved the idea of letting her walk in the puddles. as love dies, so does chivalry. i think my main complaint here would be the fact that you sort of went the path of least resistance as far as your reaction to the image at hand. it was an obvious choice for you. you executed at your usual level. poignant and (at times) beautiful descriptive work. but nothing that stands out to me as an altogether. an outlier.
frank on the other hand, makes it a personal mission of his to assure that each of his verses stand out from one another in a major way. even to a fault, i could say.
as for this one -- yikes. i absolutely loved the direction you took this. i could have figured you to be the first one to tackle pokemon go in a verse. one of the many tools in your arsenal is to take popular culture and break it down into a masterful written work. it keeps your verses fresh and memorable. sports, news, games, history, celebrities, you've covered the breadth of a generation. i always get excited to imagine what your next topic will be. its why you are considered one of the best, even despite the idiosyncratic nature of your character(s).
this was really fun to read. it drew me in as someone who lives in the same world as you, the same country, reads news about the same old bullshit kids are doing. and adults for that matter. stampedes in japan because they let out an eevee or some such shit.
at any rate, your downfall, i think, was your strict adherence to that single-running rhyme scheme you are so fond of. sometimes it really works in your favor and makes a work become more coherent, and other times it feels completely and utterly restrictive as a writer's voice. and here it was the latter. there were some moments of real force. like square peg in a circular hole. also you introduced some really incompletely thoughts. his parents being high was one that really bugged me.
anyway. it breaks down like this. i enjoyed frank's idea far more.. while big baby clearly executed a more thoughtful piece of writing.
idk. i almost hate doing this, since it goes against what i usually prefer as far as a match-up is concerned, and i was so excited to see what big baby was going to bring in future rounds of this tourney (and still might).. but i have to vote FRANK. purely based on his utterly unique and at times incomprehensible perspective on the world.
thanks