Another great battle, it is a treat watching Big baby battle, not something very common. I apologize that I won't be able to drop a thorough breakdown due to time constraints. Anyways,
Big baby: I love your clever phrasing, it is one of the most distinctive voices in the site.
You compared love to certain anatomical and physiological aspects of the heart as well as blood flow. "you're just in my bloodstream" at least that's the correlation with the topic. I very much enjoy the idea of this, but I felt like you swayed too much from the direction taken, and weaved too many other referential phrasing "Cinderella, David Jones Locker" and it took away from a direct path. Now to me it was enjoyable, especially if it was an open mic piece, this would be excellent. But for a topical or in this tournament a story with an ongoing focal point. In retrospect, it was crafted and worded aesthetically, but the overarching execution of the proposition wasn't as sharp as it could had been.
I think maybe, like me, you just didn't have enough time this week to really invest into your piece and unleash your full potential.
Frank: Lol, this was thorougly amusing man. Again some of your phrasing is clunky, but it is to be expected with your style. Sometimes this gets you in trouble and takes away from your entire story and its hard to overlook your strange and clunky wording.
But this piece is when you shine and the work itself transcends the mistakes. Of couse it could be polished but its still extremely entertaining. In my opinion, you are the best storyteller in this site. I knew I was in for a ride when I saw Snorlax, LOL.
Vote: Frank
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