dead man
I took your take on the topic to be that it's more convenient to stay in a dysfunctional relationship rather than face the harsh reality of the dysfunction and break up. You displayed a great flow, voice, and flashes of detailed imagery to convey emotion. Beyond being a nice way to set the stage with imagery, I'm not sure if goosefeather pillow cases on a California-king sized bed fit in the piece when compared to the rest of the imagery which depicted a more middle class lifestyle with a "shaky" table and a bag of merlot as opposed to a bottle.
Anyway, it was a good verse.
NYCSPITZ
I read it as a mash-up of Equilibrium, starring Christian Bale, and Rowdy Roddy Piper's cult classic, They Live. It had a cool cliff hanger. It was difficult to follow some the intri***ies. There was also some phrasing that could be improved. For example, "odorous lies."
It was a good verse but I enjoyed the flow and imagery of dead man's verse a tad more.
Vote: dead man
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