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Old 09-03-2016, 06:40 PM   #9
UnbornBuddha
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This was a nice battle.

Deadman: The verse was nice, but it did read similar thematically to some of your other verses. The ambiance of Chicago streets, for example. But I enjoyed it, it was more tightly knitted than NYC's. And it had much more emotion to it, that was more internal. But it wasn't as large scope as NYC's.

NYC: Like I commented to Deadman, your verse was less filtered. It extended itself more, but sometimes to a fault. There was also some strange wording that I'm not sure even this dystopian leader would say. That said this reminded me of this Sylvester Stalone movie I recently watched. Your verse also had flashes of Aldous Huxley's dystopian novel, Brave New World. And despite some of the knee jerk wording, I loved the premise. And though it conveyed emotion, it was more bombastic. Therefore less relatable, but I love these kinds of themes.

So I think Deadman had the more concise writing, but NYC was more daring and bold in his approach.

I give it to: NYCSPITZ
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