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Zen · 05-17-2013, 02:27 PM

I don't wanna be an ass but I gotta say in my opinion this felt a little weak. I agree with Lars that you needa have a more intricate rhyme scheme for a S&F but really it felt to me like you were following the same style for a battle.
set up, set up, set up,
blah blah blah blah blah punch
If you're still in the tourney next week or this week whenever the next battle is I'd just tell you to come out with more complex wording and schemes to improve on this. Keep postin in the OM man.

EDIT:And I haven't checked to see if you've fed anything in the OM but I'll assume you haven't and you've upped your thread twice talking to Lars. Go drop some feed on other posts man if you all ready have then good.

05-17-2013, 02:27 PM	#5
Zen Arm the Homeless Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,102 Battle Record: 22-24 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 35079722	I don't wanna be an ass but I gotta say in my opinion this felt a little weak. I agree with Lars that you needa have a more intricate rhyme scheme for a S&F but really it felt to me like you were following the same style for a battle. set up, set up, set up, blah blah blah blah blah punch If you're still in the tourney next week or this week whenever the next battle is I'd just tell you to come out with more complex wording and schemes to improve on this. Keep postin in the OM man. EDIT:And I haven't checked to see if you've fed anything in the OM but I'll assume you haven't and you've upped your thread twice talking to Lars. Go drop some feed on other posts man if you all ready have then good. Last edited by Zen; 05-17-2013 at 03:10 PM.