[PancakeBrah]

Vic.

Vic, listen to me.

What you need to do is you need to cum inside this THOT, man. Like, a purposeful pregnancy fuck. Get that shit going. It's easy if you visualize the uterus. Primal. Really get her fucking crazy gears going. Then slide in her DM's like "Hey bae, keep it chill. Just trying to extricate myself from (Vic's girlfriends name here). But you need to keep it on the low until then." She'll understand because she has two humans thinking inside of her now. You keep her at an arm's distance for two, four months. She'll blow your spot up, because she's pregnant and was pre-pregnant crazy anyways. It's cool. She gets too crazy, you set up a Babies'R'Us Wishlist. That will keep her occupied for two months from send date. No exaggeration. Meanwhile, you're just lampin' fam. Stacking easy paper, main boo none the wiser. We're at six months now. Your girl is out in the Hamptons affiliating herself with your g's wives in a villa. You call THOT. "Yo, bae, come through. I gave her the ol' heave ho. We official now." You can hear her uterus move through the phone she's so hype. She comes walking up the stairwell. You're up top, with the fade and the eyebrow fade and the J's and the drugs. Stellar. She reaches top step. Then she looks down; you're wearing off brand Jordans.

"Victor what is this you always keep it 100 with the shoe game?"

No words. Except for these words.

"I keep 'em off brand for off brand ho's."

She pauses. It dawns on her. Too late. You Leonidas kick her/Anderson Spider Silva kick her face down the stair well. Trick shot; while she was walking up Allen Knight paid a goon three bands to place a hanger on the projected landing spot. She's Matrix Cameraing down the stair well, you turn around. But then you look back and flick a dime bag towards her.

"Here's for your troubles."

Baby's gone. She's distraught. Goes home, planning to DM (Vic's girlfriend's name here). But she needs a fix before that. Smokes up, fires up twitter. Plot twist: the weed is actually rat poison. Your girl gets a DM from some random girl she vaguely remembers causing a ruckus some months back. All it says is "Hey just wanted you to know that Vic-" before it cuts out.

Girl gets back from the Hamptons. Asks how it's going.

"IDK bae, been a rough couple weeks."

"Let me make you some empanadas."

"I mean, do you."

Last scene is you smoking mad kush.

-Scene-

























So, like, what Bags said.