[big baby]

didn't really
enjoy this. It was just too dense. Littered with tidbits of non intricate schemes and repetitive predictable instances. A lot of lines seemed stretched to try and accommodate for the lack of wording to fit a certain amount of syllables. filler words like of, off, just, my, all, and, I'm should be reduced when trying to retain a ridiculously intense flow. This was your backbone, and in being your backbone I felt you were too simple in your delivery. Nothing was imaginative or creative. Just simple sentences that explain simple things, cascade of the oceans/ wash, mad gay when you drop a display, razor sharp wit: but it off big. These were endings and climaxes that didn't do anything but let the reader down. Wasn't that interested throughout. Good attempt, thanks.