[PancakeBrah]

:pronounce your name for me. i want to say it in dead language
i want to say it how they said it before we even existed
out loud, and painfully. full of rage, in a sweating panic
seasons remiss, i want to breathe it into existence
velvet sage. i want to say it with your hand on my neck:

perfect.

this probably took you, oh, five minutes to write. or, you would say that it took you five minutes to write. this whole open mic system is relatively fucked. there are some handful of writers really, actually, worth reading here. then some orbiting mass of human-types who write things on the internet that rhyme. there were so many layers, techniques, and possible interpretations of form here, that someone who really wanted to "feed this" would have to read it over a handful of times, then let it gestate. you packed in well trod ideas, emotions, so seamlessly, worded so uniquely, or sometimes so tritely as to be now unique. whether it was earnest or not is irrelevant because of how well it was all done. in a better open mic world the people who understand writing could read this, think it over, then have a conversation. but this will probably get 7 posts then get lost in the 119 pages of this forum. like every other piece by writers of your calibur (you'd say there are no writers of your calibur but, of course, there are). i would just like to say this is one of the best pieces i've read in the past month or two i've been back here. the passage i quoted is the best, to me. but there were many others i enjoyed. and i hate boosting your ego. well done.

Thanks for the read!