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Old 05-16-2013, 07:30 PM   #20
Adonis
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Alright...I love the content/concept behind this track, although I feel like it's not quite there. I was hearing something that was off, like too many changes in cadence or diction, I couldn't figure it out. But I'm going to guess maybe the syllable counts vary wayyyyy too much to keep the proper flow. I'm not big on counting exact syllables but I would imagine yours changes often. Maybe not line by line, but with breaks in each line.

Confusing I know, but you seperate lines with comas for flow, almost like a breathe marker.

I'm willing to bet these comas (or breath markers) in every line vary quite a bit.

All in all though, as I said, the content and concept are both dope. I'm not sure if you paired the beat with flow properly, but you did your thing, and for what it is, its a good track.
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