Read this one at work today.
Boredom: You had some dope lines. Your opener was a really cool concept, it was among the most memorable imagery I can recall for reading earlier today. Biggest flaw in your verse, in my opinion, is that you treated it with the battlesque setup/punch approach which was detrimental to the flow by making it read more dissonant and less like verse 'as a whole'.
Cashius: Good verse. I feel this was a better representation of both aspects of the swag&flow genre. Felt more complete and was, line for line, a more interesting read for me. "I'm Sadam to the people...they follow me blindly, fall in behind me. I'm swallowing ether
Palmin' the heaters. If you try your luck, you better have a Mighty Duck...along with all of the sequels" lolol good stuff.
+1 Cashius
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