God – whoa, this is brilliant. So worthy of a championship verse. As someone with a keen background in art, I really felt the piece in places. ill take it ‘van goth' was a typo but there were references in here (as there usually is with u) that I had to quickly research, that went over my head.
I have to quote this part, cuz its fooking dope!!!!
“Juxtaposed next to Icarus’ gargantuan fall
To the chasm cobras and tarantulas crawl.
Bask in it all! From the Renaissance man who happens to draw
In symmetrical law, i.e. Vitruvian man and its negation of flaw,
To Sistine Chapel’s characterization of god.
Down to the Neanderthal’s skull. Primitive measurements
Evolved into the Lascaux’s Paleolithic renderings.
My own Avant-garde stylistic preference”
Perhaps the biggest surprise was the level of lyricism u portrayed overall, some of it comes out a little forced in my accent. I noticed one or two unmatching syllables but that’s nit picking has most ppl can be guilty of that. It felt like u kinda tried to match franks style but it paid off imo. Top drawer
Frank – three lines in and im already taken aback, this will hard to fooking judge!
I have a slight fear this might all be a metaphor of something else entirely. It’s something about your style that gives me a buzz wen reading, on personal preference, please never change it but make that pen game a bit tighter m8. The closer is dope, ‘females’ are ‘females’ no matter what lifeform, species they are, brill!
I do agree that some of the wording felt awkward, almost unnatural phrasing in parts, ‘grinding abrasive’ was another I picked up on. BUT its only in commitment to the rhyming patterns youve produced, so im a huge hypocrite for pointing that out, cuz I sacrifice content for scheming most the time.
Im a massive fan of the internal rhyming you began to execute e.g. "glorified for her shape/ exemplifying, a maiden. "
But especially in the early stages of your verse, I saw some unmatching, it was hard to miss and I hate myself for spotting them cuz on first glance it reads so sick and I’d able to enjoy reading it that little bit more. Crazy verse in all and enjoyed reading as ever, I just think Complex got this one!
Good match up lads!
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