[PancakeBrah]

I'm going to start off on a tangent.

when I write, lately, I feel as if I begin by stringing together ambient ideas and concepts, then i realize I'm just typing the words coffee, tawdry, and autumn over and over and over, again, then I pass out dru-

I've read this and the two pieces you have the first page, if only/overkill and fly on the wall, and this was the most accessible and easy to feed. So I'm feeding it! Something I've picked up, and maybe it's obvious to the better people who populate this site, is your regular use of dichotomy or antithesis, often in the same line. Or at least, the regular use of it in this piece. For example

battled disorders by our lonesome but together we mourn

anybody's crush but nobody's whore

hiss hateful words and hope that it burns. who am i kidding?
i just wrote you a verse with a prayer that it helps

And as I was quickly reading this, these lines stood out to me as highlights, intuitively. All of your pieces have a stream of consciousness feel, and a rueful tone. These kind of contradictions help realize this type of mindset, how someone with this type of weight on them really does think, I think. Then

melt into your handprint our identity clash

Synthesizes the trend towards the together, nobody, and prayer that helps.

I noticed the intertextual and intratrextual self references. I remember some feed that Certain gave to one of your pieces where he basically thought of all your pieces as one, continuous thought. Or something to that effect. And the word 'cliffside' was mentioned a few times, and it's mentioned here. And how the second line of the piece (let's melt) is modified and given more context by the line I most recently quoted. It's just an added layer to everything, and shows how intricately everything can be interwoven.

As for, just, visceral reaction, it's up to the usual dead man standard. All pathos (my new buzzword; overarching theme can get fucked), regret. With turns of phrase that, seemingly, come so easily. For instance a line like

i would have made us happy if you asked

is so easy to make corny, trite, eyerollish. But you place it in the right spot, and you word it correctly, and voila, it's a positive.

The only line I didn't like was the metal cases M alliteration, and that's due to the fact that I despise alliteration. No matter the quality.

I'd put this behind 'if only/overkill' and ahead of 'fly on the wall'. IF/O currently has the best piece of writing on the front page with

let me in and let it happen
measure me, a slave to standard. traffic, 24th December
in a row i've let myself become a hopeless romantic
what a tragic turn of fate to see you sitting so silent
after all these streetlights violated your privacy
i want someone to write to me like i wrote to you, privately.
it's not a matter of ego. it's ego in it's entirety.
self-centricity spiral circa 1900 and 90

whereas 'fly on the wall' was good but I thought it had too much alliteration and too many abstract phrases to truly contend with the other two. It had a cool, machine gun, rapid fire quality to it. Angry, even. All three were appreciated. Thanks for the reads!