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Old 06-27-2016, 10:44 PM   #6
Woke
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Was not a big fan of either so I'm going to vote the lesser of two evils here. Frank created a sound work that was destroyed by Grammer and sentences that are not natural sounding because it kept a flow going, ironically completely obliterating it at the same time. Artifice had good direction, started out very smooth, but the direction and connection quickly fizzled out due to the story lacking action, lacking love, lacking something I can't explain, your verse simply fell flat in the end


Overall, I really can't get past the numerous eye sores from Frank's verse. It truly was painstaking to read. Not natural.
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