Decent quarrel, gentleman.
Artifice, quite the lecture. Dug how the narrative was kind of like a PBS Special. You pushed your agenda rather nobly. Personally, I've seen the movie 300 and I'm somewhat up to date with empires of other eras. This time period you grounded your excerpt in, was, and is, always unfathomable and debatable. You had some strong opinions: And you sculpted a solid flow. You covered a lot of ground, and touched on vast concepts, Lots of surface value. Upon deeper analysis, you worked from a lofty viewpoint, avoiding anything specifics: vaguely proclaiming your bro science from a frat house roof top. Digging deeper, their's lot of arguments presented in your piece that are merely rehashing's of well known pompous propaganda and hoopla. So, while your school of thought is ambitious, it's not ivy league. Decent submission. Just bored me with all the pseudo.
MMLP, really was a shame you could not stick it out this season. As you may, or may not know, I, was the sole reason you kept getting put back into match ups. Asylum didn't agree, but I knew what was going to be best for you. You missed out on half a season of cultivation. Brilliant mag work though, truly memorable, from that regard. I had come up with the idea for a tag team topical week and we went ahead and paired us up to make a mockery of baron mynd. I had a great time collaborating with you. This verse, I'm just going to come right out and say - wasn't your best work. The better part of the latter half was stellar. The passage after "time for our revenge" was on point - Preciser then the shakier beginning where you didn't quite have a sense of what was transpiring, which was highlighted by, eg
Quote:
I naturally brought up solutions once they’d asked what I’d say.
I thought I was moving up in the ranks of our trade
but having my say was only shaping things up.
|
Start your stories near the finale. First line, introduce the antagonist (gun)
Don't wait 15 lines. You have a knack for disguising your verses direction, which is riddlingly fascinating. You do a lot of foreshadowing, which is mysterious, just be more flat out and clear cut though.
First and foremost, bros, I wanted to acknowledge the kind regards from the both of you towards my verse. I am equally inspired.
Now on to the decision... Voted
Artifice
Pardon my brevity, inevitably, Artifices season continues on it's historic pace. MMLP had an edge, that his closer couldn't capitalize on, and his introduction could never fully establish.
MVG2 Artifice