Artifice: The writing was solid. Albeit, since you angled in to a specific period, it would have been nice if you set the scene more, and added more detail to it. It felt more causative then anything. I understand you were trying to keep a grand scope to your premise, but the little things I find are what make such a vision more powerful. I also am not a fan of using the topic as the way to end a verse, it is a cheap way and unimaginative way to go about it.
MMLP: This verse kind of resonates with some of the shows I've been watching lately. It was okay, don't have much qualms with anything. But, also there was nothing that allured me either. Some of your verses have that quality. Also the flow wasn't as rapid fire as I've come to expect from a MMLP verse. And to be honest I wasn't a fan of the suicide death stroke. I was kind of expecting it, not that suicidal deaths cannot be portrayed strongly, I mean suicide itself is very powerful image already. But when it comes to depicting it, I find sometimes if one doesn't depict it in a certain way, then it becomes kind of cliche.
Vote: Artifice
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