MY VOTE THAT I COULD NOT POST lol
asylum- I liked the visual you painted here and the way you formulated your descriptions. My only gripes are the use of explosion/exploded together and the "only clothing" thing. That didn't quite sound right. Maybe an adjective in its place that rhymes would have fit better. Those things aside, this was a concise piece with powerful visuals and ended with a finality I was satisfied with, although the last line felt a little rushed in how you worded it. Good job bro.
razah- this was a cool piece as well. I liked the flow, and even though the cadence wasn't rigid throughout, it still came off nicely. That marble line was a very nice touch. Good Job.
I think both you guys wrote well in your length. You both brought significant ideas in a neat package and had the piece end well. Razah had the neater ending, whereas asylum had better wording throughout, although he had the missteps I mentioned.
MVGT asylum for the slightly more enjoyable drop. Thanks guys.
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Ahem.
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